The Daily Grind

Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment, full effort is full victory.  Mahatma Ghandi

Well it's been a while since I blogged about my new job at the farm and for any of you concerned that it may be because I no longer enjoy it, well, you are wrong.  I just felt the need to post about more than that. 

But, it's overdue, and my "girls" need a shout out too as they have become a big part of my life.

It's funny, but if you had ever asked me a few years ago if I thought I would have quit my job as a Customer Service Rep to become a full time dairy farmer I'm pretty sure the answer would've been "No".  But honest to goodness, I look back now and really think I should've done it sooner for many reasons that I won't necessarily dwell on right now.

Instead, let's take a look at some of the images I see on a daily basis around the farm and explain some of them to you.

Above is an "action" shot.  This is what it looks like when the first group of cows start heading into the barn.  We have 74 stalls in the barn for the cowies and when 74 cows start walking in the barn one by one I always think it is pretty darn neat.  Out of 74 cows, the majority will go exactly to their designated spot without any issue, and then you will have roughly 5 or so that like to screw with you and go somewhere they don't belong and you have to watch for them and direct them to the right spot.  Seriously, it's not that they don't know where they belong, they really just like to piss you off I think.

Another picture showing the cows coming in the barn for milking.

With the weather being nicer out now, the cows stay out in one of three areas we have fenced off for them in-between milkings.  They love this!!!  So before the cows come in the barn one of my jobs is to walk out to where they are and walk them up to the barn.  They of course moan and groan (yes seriously, some of them do) when I make them get up from their comfy spots in the dirt/grass/poop to haul ass to the barn, so I get some funny looks.  Here are some of the girlies that were nice enough to pose for pictures during this process.

The cows checking me out as I approach them to walk them to the barn for the afternoon milking.

She's looking at me as if to say "Really?  Now?"

They are such nosy creatures and always very cautious about people although they are very comfortable with me now.

This is one of the Brown Swiss cows we have at the farm.  Sam officially gave her the name Butterscotch years ago when she was just a little calf.  I get to milk her :)

Despite what people think, cows do not sleep standing up.  A lot of them do what this lovely lady is doing and turn their heads back.  Awww, I woke her from her afternoon nap.

This chickie is one of our sassier, I don't give a shit kind of cows in the barn.  She doesn't really kick or anything, she's just a pest and wanders into other open stalls to find more food and takes her old sweet time getting out of the barn.  I think their eyes and demeanor are so sweet.

The cows headed up towards the barn.

Another one of my jobs at the farm is to take care of the baby calves.  Although they can at times be major pain in the butts, just like normal little kids I suppose, at the same time they are very sweet.  The first few days they are bottle fed like the little girl below.

But within a few days I try to wean them off the bottles and then start feeding them from pails.  They will drink their mother's milk for a day or two but then will be fed milk replacer (Similac for calves) after that.  Here is the line up of all the pails I had to make for the little ones today.

There are so many things I see around the farm each and every day.

The gorgeous scenery looking to the south from the barn.  I know it may not look like much to the average person but I have found a deep appreciation for the trees and want to climb that one limb that is bent over and just sit there someday.  There is also a small river that surrounds the property that is a neat little addition and peaceful.

Yep!  Poop, poop and more poop.  It is honestly never ending.  We could seriously have one full time person around the farm whose sole purpose was to deal with the poop the cows produce and they would likely never run out of work.  By the end of a milking I unfortunately have it located in way more places on my body than I care to, but it is what it is, right?

Luke is usually with us at the farm every afternoon so this is a very familiar scene in the barn.  Luke running through the barn or riding one of the many vehicles sitting at the top of the barn.  Oh my goodness can he cruise on these things.  The barn is empty on this photo but quite honestly most of the cows are so used to him being there he can ride all over the place now when they are in the barn and they don't make much of him.  Do you think he has enough stuff to ride?

Now onto some of my most memorable cows in the barn.  For me anyway.

This is a cow Jeff milks on his side but she stands out to me.  I don't know her official name but only know her as #47.  She was one of the first cows I could recognize in the barn because her head is always tilted to the side like on this photo.  It is never straight.  I think this gives her the appearance of always being slightly confused and it makes me giggle.  She is also a very nice cow and a "worker" according to my bossman.

This cow is on my side and I should be milking her, however, she is one of roughly three cows total on my side that doesn't like me to milk her necessarily.  She has a tad bit of attitude and will continuously stomp her back right leg the entire time I clean her off before putting the milker on.  The only way I can get the milker on her is if her Daddy (that being Jeff) stands by her with his hand on her butt/backside so she behaves.  Sounds like my kids at home?

This cow is also on Jeff's side of the barn but I just think she is a very nice cow.  Currently she is pregnant with her third set of twins.  Yes, third!!!  One set of her previous twins is also in our barn as milking cows now and her second set of twins is up the road at the other farm growing up yet so they can then become milking cows.  So let's just say she is an experienced Mommy (kind of like me) and I just took a liking to her.  I'll post pics in a few months of her next set of twins.

This is a photo of a cow on my side I like to call "Big Bertha".  I don't think this photo does her justice but I can only think to myself that I am soooo happy I don't have to carry that around every day.  Yikers!!!  Seriously, when it is time to put the milker on her I darn near have to get down on my knees and put my head under her utter so I can find the tits on the other side of her.  No lie!!!  Obviously though, she milks out a lot and is very docile!!!

And now let's meet #95.  She's kind of a hit or miss/Jeckyl & Hyde kind of cow.  You just never know what you're going to get and yep, she's on my side of the barn.  Well, I caught her with a bad hair day or something on Wednesday morning's milking and now she will stand out in my head for a while now.  Since working at the farm I've had an occasional kick here and there but nothing overally major.  Well, thanks to this snotty lady above that has all changed.

While holding her milker in place (squatted on the side of her) as it was leaking air she decided she was going to let me know who was boss and rammed me in the knee roughly 2-3 times.  Needless to say a few choice words were uttered as I flew into the aisle to get away from her "issue" and well, yeah, I've milked her two times since with no problems, but the slightest hint that she has PMS or whatever and Jeff is hanging that milker on, not me.  Below is the damage.  Ouch!!!

It's a constant adventure.  It takes a lot of patience working with the hubby who isn't always the most understanding and supportive in some situations.  Overall though, it's great!

It's hard to explain to somebody who hasn't done this themselves.  So totally different than the corporate world.  I'm thankful I'm not stuck inside all day anymore and have found a new appreciation for so many things this world has to offer.

Who would've thought it would take this to make me realize so much?



Annual Bloody Mary

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. ~Lady Astor

So, this past weekend was my annual weekend getaway without the hubby, without the kids and without the worries of every day life.  No cooking, no cleaning, I was able to sleep in and there were no kids hollering or whining at me because they were hungry or their sibling was driving them crazy and what not.  And it was that time of the year where I consumed my annual Bloody Mary on a Sunday morning at 9:30 am.  Yummy!!!

This past weekend I attended the State Bowling tournament in Madison with some members of our Tuesday night bowling team along with some borrowed members from another team in our league.  Every year around this time I go to this and it has become a tradition for me to go with my Mom.  I think I have personally been going for about 19 years already.

My Mommy and I at the bowling tournaments this past weekend.

Now for any of you wondering about our expertise as bowlers, I'll let you know there really isn't any.  Ha ha.  I mean, really, we all enjoy bowling or we wouldn't be doing it, and we all have an occasional awesome game here and there, but to say any of us are real good bowlers would be a lie.  We go to the tournament to have a good time and get away as friends/family for a little while.

I personally look forward to it for the following reasons:  going out to eat at nice restaurants in-between the bowling sessions, being able to see new places, getting a break from being a Mom and wife for a little while and spending time with my Mom, my best friend Stacy and a fun group of ladies!!!

My best friend Stacy and I.

Other members of our bowling group drinking their bloody marys.

Margie and Kaylene from our team.

My Mom and Lori waiting to bowl.

Our whole team.  What a crazy bunch, heh?

Some of the women that attend this event really give 'er when they go and seem to be quite intoxicated while there (that always make for cheap entertainment for us).  I however choose not to drink more than my fair share and usually stay pretty low key when it comes to the alcoholic beverages.  I have learned over time that alcohol and I just don't get along too well and I'd like to think I'm old enough to have learned from past experiences.

So, the comraderie (I think that's how you spell it) was great!!!  Our meals were superb!!!  My bed at the hotel was extremely comfy (loved the pillow), although my internal clock woke me up at 3:45 am thinking I had to go milk the cows.  Thank goodness I was able to turn back over and sleep in for a while.  Nice!!!

And the coolest thing is, for once, I actually bowled well the entire weekend and didn't miss my average one game.  In fact I earned myself a 200 pin for bowling a 226 game my first time on the alley.  Yeah baby!!!

I look forward to next year when it is in Milwaukee.    And I am thankful for the great time we all had this year. 

And once again, the family survived without me although Luke seems to be giving me a little bit of the cold shoulder today (little crapper).  Gotta love three year olds!!!

Angels Breathe

Life is full of beauty.  Notice it.  Notice the bumblebee, the small child, and the smiling faces.  Smell the rain, and feel the wind.  Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.

Wow!  Where does the time go?  Seriously, I feel like it wasn't that long ago since I made my last post but then I realized it was almost two weeks ago and I wanted to kick myself in the ass!!!  I don't intentionally put this off.  I really truly enjoy making posts and letting some feelings out but life is just too darn busy!!!  Between the kids, the farm, Jeff, keeping up with tons of housework and everything else in between time just disappears in a flash it seems.  So once again, I apologize to all of you that actually enjoy reading my posts.

It's funny how even with such a loaded plate and being so busy I can manage to take any time throughout my day to just kind of relax.  One of the things that truly puts me into a different place and calms my nerves is my music.  And I have started a ritual of listening to my Ipod and my wide variety of artists while doing dishes and housework at home.  Sometimes, this lasts a while and other times Luke takes my Ipod off it's dock and starts playing games with it, but I take as much as I can and sing away to every song I can.  Some put me in a real good mood, some make me feel young again (or should I say "younger again" as I'm not really old) and some, well, make me weepy and sad as they remind me of the past, or certain people in my life.  Funny how a certain song will come on and you correlate it with a specific place or time. 

Yesterday I came across a song on one of my Facebook friend's wall called To Where You Are by Josh Groban.  If any of you are familiar with Josh Groban he has one of the most powerful and beautiful male voices I have heard and I love his music.  She had posted it as it reminded her of the beautiful little girl their family lost when when she was about three weeks old, Lennon Trinity Grace Rivera.  I instantly had to listen to it and now it is a part of my collection on my Ipod and makes me think of my dear little Adam.  The words are as follows:

Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear

Deep in the stillness

I can hear you speak

You're still an inspiration

Can it be

That you are mine

Forever love

And you are watching over

Me from up above

Fly me up to where you are

Beyond the distant star

I wish upon tonight

To see you smile

If only for awhile to know you're there

A breath away's not far

To where you are

Are you gently sleeping

Here inside my dream

And isn't faith believing

All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you

Just one beat away

I cherish all you gave me everyday

Cause you are mine

Forever love

Watching me from up above

And I believe that angels breathe

And that love will live on and never leave

I know you must get sick of me posting about him, but he's always on my mind and my posts are "real" and "honest".  I write what I am feeling at the time and well, he's been on my mind a lot lately. 

He would be 5 now :(  He would be a handful, although probably not as much of a handful as his little brother Luke is right now.  I'm hoping that by 5 Luke takes a chill pill and learns to sit still for longer periods of a time (oh wait, he's sitting still right now!).

He'd likely be riding a 2 wheel bike with training wheels.  He'd be in school now most of the day.  He would still love me and want his Mommy but would likely be hanging out with Daddy at the farm and riding the tractors a lot too.  He'd be just as handsome as his brothers and he would make my heart melt when I looked at him, I just know it.

I don't think any person can completely understand losing a child this way unless they have personally experienced it themself.  It hurts and it leaves me with so many unanwered questions and what ifs?  I didn't get to know anything about him before he was gone other than his physical appearance.  He didn't get to experience how much I loved him, we loved him.

No cuddling, no lullabies, no burping him, no rocking him, one day you're busy anticipating his arrival and the next day everything is gone...and empty.

Do I struggle to get through my days?  No.  I rely on my faith in God and His plan for my life and trust that He knows what is best. 

Adam is never far from my thoughts though.  Ever..........

And believe it or not, working around the farm makes me feel closer to where he is.  The raw nature surrounding me every minute I am there makes me think of him.  The birds chirping, the sun rising each morning, the flowers in bloom, the cows chewing their cud, the newborn baby calves and their mommies caring for them immediately after they are born, the warm sun on my skin and the clouds in the sky.  Miracles, every single one of them.  Despite everything, I feel blessed.

I am convinced I will get to know him one day.  I am not in a hurry though as three other little bodies need me here right now - Adam is perfectly fine where he is :)

Easter Blessings

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be saved through Him. John 3:16-17

One of my favorite Holidays was this weekend, Easter, and during all of the festivities there were a lot of thoughts rolling through my mind.

The Holiday festivities really got into full swing at the Dahm household on Friday when the kids and I decided to dye our Easter eggs.  The process of coloring the eggs wasn't our best one for sure.  I didn't buy a new dying kit this year because when cleaning out my pantry a few weeks back I realized that I had one in there.  Sorry to say though, when we actually opened the kit and were about to put the tablets into each dish to start making the various colors we realized some of the tablets (most of them) had broke and were mixed with each other and we now needed to try to separate each little piece that was in the bag in order to have different colored eggs.  Thankfully Sam wanted to tackle this task and did a rather good job of it.  There were arguments about how many eggs each kid got to dye personally and what colors and what not, but we all survived I suppose.

A failed group shot of the kids during the egg dying process.  As you can see, Luke was upset about something at this point and didn't even want his picture taken.

The finished product.  Not our best looking eggs for sure but it's the thought that counts right?

Saturday was also a busy day for us.  Sam had to be out at church to practice for our Sunrise Service that was taking place on Easter Sunday and when the boys and I went back to pick her up later when she was done we visited Adam's gravesite to decorate it for Easter/Spring.

Going there always makes my head spin with the "what if" questions and I ponder how different life would be for all of us if he was still here on this Earth and not in Heaven.  To some, they may not understand my need to keep going to his gravesite (I know he isn't there obviously), but as his Mom, it is the only way I can give him "things" and show him the love that is in my heart every single day and I don't want to count him out.  So, he got his very own Easter bunny and he got his very own Easter eggs and the kids like to help with this as well for the same reasons and are very protective of anything by his stone.

I went to bed early on Saturday night (after heading downtown for a few drinks with the hubby) and was excited for the fact that although I would need to be at our church by 5:45 am the following morning, that still meant I had off of chores and got to sleep in about 30-40 minutes that morning.  That is huge for me!!!

My mother-in-law came to stay with Lukas while Sam and Zach and I headed to our Easter sunrise service.  It has been a while since I attended this service as it is always difficult for me to get three bodies plus myself moving that early in the morning, but as a child and teenager I remember going to these all the time with my parents and it brought back good memories for me.

Easter morning was beautiful.  A little windy and a tad chilly but overall a gorgeous morning.  And as our service was being done outside the sun did rise over the hill to the East and it was absolutely spectacular!!!  I kick myself as I brought my camera to take pictures outside but forget to put my recently charged battery back into the camera (must be the turning 40 thing?).

Our youth did a small skit (Sam was part of it) and when they were reading the part about the nails being pounded into Jesus hands and feet it brought tears to my eyes, seriously.  So much torture, so much pain He endured....for all of us.

Our church altar on Easter morning (the later service when I did remember to put the battery in my camera)

Our Easter festivites concluded with a yummy meal and conversation at my brother's house.  While there we also had a small egg hunt for Lukas and my great nephew, Brody.  Such innocent little souls on an adventure.  Their expressions, their comments, everything about them while hunting is so so precious.

Lukas and Brody after they found all of the eggs.

I counted every single one of my blessings yesterday.  I try count them every day, even when things aren't going my way.

God may not have blessed me with the fanciest house, the newest car or luxurious vacations but He did bless me with a gorgeous family, a faith that is stronger than most people would imagine and unbelievable surroundings.  It's too bad more people can't believe His love and understand what He did for all of us and continues to do at all times.

I hope all of you had a blessed Easter :)