What One Thing?

Yesterday while browsing on Facebook one of my Facebook friends posed the question "If you could have MORE of something what would it be?"  Her question immediately made me start thinking and I planned to respond to her wall but stopped myself as I couldn't really come to one single conclusion at the time as to what my answer would be?

Other people answered the somewhat obvious and first thing that popped into my head....Money.

Oh sure, for most people money appears to be the answer to all their problems.  If you have money you can buy anything you need to make you happy, right?  And I initially thought the same thing.  There are a lot of things on my "wish list" in life that money could help me attain. 

A remodeled living room with all new furniture, flooring, draperies, etc.

A new vehicle as mine has reached 200,000 miles and although it still runs it would be nice to drive something newer. 

And more money for a remodeled bathroom as well as ours is in desperate need of attention would be great.

But then I stopped and thought I have to be smart if this wish was really attainable and if I could get more of just one thing that money wasn't the answer.  In due time I would be able to have enough money (hopefully) to have all of the above things I mentioned anyway so I continued to ponder the question again.

Hmmmm?  If not money, what?  Then the word vacation came to mind.  I mean really...what person wouldn't want the opportunity to have more vacation time in their life right?

Our family loves to vacation so this would be awesome.  I've always wanted to go to the Bahamas so we could go there!

But then it dawned on me, if you have more vacation you now need to also have more money, which I passed on earlier, so I can't really have more of this either...so onto another idea.

If I could have MORE of anything what would it be?

Some other possibilities that jumped into my head.

Patience.  Oh man, I could use more of that.  Patience with the cowies and calves at the farm, patience for working with my husband, patience for my children, patience for other people who I come across on a daily basis and patience with life in general.

Time.  That was one that seemed to be on other people's minds too and I know we could all use more of that too.  But really, if we were given more time, would we just fill it up with more endless running and "stuff" that isn't necessary in the first place or would we use it wisely to make a difference in somebody's life and volunteer for charities and to lend a helping hand to others?  Probably not so I decided I didn't really want that either.

So I continued to ponder the question again.  And I still couldn't decide initially...but then it occurred to me that one of the things in my life that I struggle with the most is the fact that my kids don't have very much support in life.  I support them like crazy, but they miss out on things in their life because a lot of people choose not to be involved in their lives or simply aren't here.

Both their Grandpas have passed away and they don't get to enjoy the things that they enjoyed with them.  They miss out on all of that special bonding time that other kids have with their Grandpas.

Jeff's Dad used to have a ritual with Zach when he was little that only Grandpa took him for his haircuts.  When doing this he had a deal made out with the barber that when Zach was done getting his haircut the barber gave Zach a dollar.  To Zach this was the coolest thing ever!  Another funny thing about this is that if Jeff's Mom and Sam were along they had to stay in the car and wait.  Only Grandpa and Zach went in.  Luke will never have any of this!  Heck, Luke doesn't have any real male figures in his life at all, other than his Dad.

My Dad never really knew Zach as he passed away shortly after he was born but I do know that if his health was good and he was still here he would be coming to watch Sam and Zach play soccer, Zach play baseball and whatever other activities they were involved in and now nobody comes.  It makes me sad.

I attend pretty much all of my kid's activities (with some exceptions) and there are all kinds of people there to watch the other kids on the team.  Grandpas, Grandmas, Aunts, Uncles, etc. and there is never anybody but me, and Jeff if he can get away from the farm.  I used to tell people times and locations of their activities, I stopped doing that a long time ago as it was obviously a waste of my time.

Despite what people may think, I think I have some darn good kids.  Are they perfect kids?  No.  I would never make that statement.  Sam and Zach especially have been through way more shit in their young lives than a lot of adults have and yet they keep marching on and try to see the positives.  They have lost two Grandpas and a baby brother already and Sam has yet to visit her Grandpa Rick's headstone without crying like crazy. 

I am going to take credit for who they are now and who they become.  I'm scared to make that statement as I know life will only get more difficult as they get older and kids can get lead astray, but truthfully, I am their rock.  I am the only one that gets them, listens to them, boasts their spirits up, pushes them to be better people, disciplines when necessary (but probably not enough).  I don't think they feel they have anybody else to talk to.

So, with that said, SUPPORT would be the one thing I would want more of.  More support for my kids.  More support for me as I'm going it alone roughly 80% of the time.  More support for my family in general.  We feel like black sheep a lot of the time?