What Would He Think



Dad whispering in my ear at our wedding "I hope all of your dreams come true."

Not a single day goes by where I don't think of my Dad.  It will be 10 years in January since he passed away but he is never far from my mind. 

I wonder what our life would be like if he was still here with us?  A lot more fun than it is now, that's for damn sure!

I wonder what he would be doing with his free time?  Would he be traveling the country like he would've liked to, or would he still be running his business and maybe working less but still working?

Most of all though, I wonder what he would think about me and whether or not he would be proud?  I have an image of him up in Heaven and watching down on us, making his judgements and assessments of our daily routine.

As a young girl and into adulthood, he was by far my biggest supporter I think.  When I was heavily involved in the local softball programs as a young girl and even when I was married, he would come to every one of my games, with my Mom by his side, and cheer me on.  I think he truly enjoyed being a part of it all and talking to all of the other parents and just having a good time.

Same with when I was a cheerleader in high school.  He came to almost every single basketball game I cheered for.  Looking back, maybe he was doing it to make sure I wasn't getting into trouble and wasn't really there to support me necessarily, but either way he was there.

I remember growing up and having a different relationship with my parents than most kids I knew.  I wasn't embarrassed to go places with them and hang out with them at all.  I even went to the Dells with them the summer in-between my junior and senior year of high school, just the three of us, and had a blast!  I even went grocery shopping with them during my high school years a lot.

So, to say there is a huge hole in me, and something missing, would be an understatement.  Oh the memories are good, and they are all I have now, but they aren't by any means the same.

There are so many days where I wish I could just pick up a phone and call him.  Ask him for advice on "life".

I especially miss the knowledge he had for carpentry and handy man shit.  I have so many projects I would love to do around my house, Jeff is by no means a handy man with this stuff, he knows farming things but that's about as far as it goes it seems, and if Dad were here I know I could do them with a little advice and encouragement from him.  So instead, I just sit back and think about how I'm going to do these on my own, I will eventually, I have to, nobody else is going to do them for me that's for damn sure.

I often sit back and think about what I have become since Dad and I last saw each other.  I was a Mom before he passed away, but a lot less experienced one.  I hope he would be proud of my mothering skills and how far they have come and that if there were things he would change, he should nudge me or something.

I hope he would be okay with the person I have become as a whole and that he can see that I'm trying my best.  I may not be the best with budgeting, I may not have the fanciest house on the street or the cleanest by any means, but my intentions are good.

I go to work every day to help provide for my family, and I try to help out Jeff and the kids whenever they need something and that I'm not selfish.

I may not have carried on his love for racing  and I hope he don't hold that against me but I try to continue to carry on his love of family as much as I can.

The kids and I were watching my wedding video off and on most of the weekend, and it made me smile.  Dad was so healthy at our wedding and it wasn't until about 6 months after that when his health started to really spiral downward.

His smile on our wedding video is infectious!  His love of dancing and of life in general was so fun to watch.  Like Zach said when watching the video "Wow!  Grandpa Norbie had the moves!!!"

I wish my kids still had him in their life and could know this great man.  I wish I could still have him in my life, I miss him so much and just want to say hello, how ya doing?

I'll be watching my wedding video a lot in the next few days I think.  I think he was proud of who I was when he died, I hope he is still proud of who I am now.

Lucy Goosy

We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults. Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment. ~George Eliot

Our sweetheart, Lucy.

So, I married a farmer as you all know, and one thing I figured out right away when marrying Jeff was that he had this belief, as a lot of farmers do, that animals don't belong in the house.  At that time he had made it very clear to me, as I did have one spoiled little cocker spaniel at my parent's house when we were dating, that she was not moving in with us and we likely wouldn't have a dog in our near future.

At the time this wasn't that big of a deal to me.  My parents were more than thrilled, with their baby moving out and getting married, that I was leaving my dog they had gotten so attached to with them.  I knew she would be well taken care of by them and I still got to see her a lot and the subject of a dog didn't come up for quite some time, at least not until our kids, Sam and Zach, started getting a little older.

In 2006 I made the mistake of calling a Puppies For Sale advertisement on our wall at work.  It caught my immediate attention as they were cocker spaniel puppies and I called it.  I knew Jeff wouldn't be happy but I knew two little kids that would!  I surprised them one night after work by picking them up at their sitter that afternoon with a new little puppy in my arms.  Of course they loved her, I had forgotten how much work puppies were, and well, needless to say, when Jeff came home that night he was NOT happy.  In fact, so unhappy he didn't speak to me the entire weekend.  Shit!  There was immediately a bad taste in his mouth about this new little creature and that never really changed.

Unfortunately she wasn't catching on to the house training well, she was destroying things in our house, and I simply felt she just wasn't getting the attention she needed with me working full time and then running with the kids all the time that we eventually gave her away to another family that could give her everything we couldn't at the time.  When that happened I really thought there was no way we would ever get another dog until we moved to the farm, and it certainly wouldn't stay in our house.

Well for the next approximately four years that was the case and then sometime in 2010 Zach, being the ballsy little guy that he can be sometimes, decided he was going to approach Dad on the subject again.  While he was trying a couple times every week to convince him he surfed local Humane Society websites for what he believed would be the perfect dog.  I had made it clear to Zach, that if we did talk Dad into going along with this plan, we were definitely getting a dog and not a puppy again.  I just didn't want to go through all of that again, and we also had a toddler running through the house now, and well, that's like a little puppy, I didn't need another one.

Well, much to my surprise, after nagging and nagging, and telling Dad that it wasn't fair that we didn't have a dog when he had one when he was growing up and all that, surprisingly enough Jeff caved in and told us we could get one.  I seriously couldn't believe it.  There was a clause in this contract though, if the dog wasn't working out here in town and in the house, she would relocate to the farm permanently and hang out with the dog there.

So, with that we headed to the Washington County Humane Society in Jackson to look for our new family member.  Our plan when going there was to come back with a little bit smaller dog, as we knew it was going to be in the house, but we all know plans change.  It ended up that all of the smaller dogs they had there had aggression issues and with a toddler in our house they didn't think they would work well in our house.  Of course, Zach was a little upset as he had his heart set on a dog that wasn't going to work, but I had noticed this sweet dog in the kennel a few over.  I wasn't sure what kind of dog she was, but I could tell she just had the best temperament in the world.  She just sat there staring at us with those big brown eyes, didn't bark, didn't jump up on the cage or anything.  I pointed her out to Zach and asked what he thought.  He kind of shrugged his shoulders like he wasn't sure but we thought we would give her a try and took her into a room there to interact with her.  It went well!  I don't know what it was, but she just kind of called out to me and this was the dog that had to come home to our house.

Lucy is her name, and she is a red tick coon hound, although Jeff has officially started calling her the "red tick farm dog" as she spends a ton of time there too.  She was able to come home with us that same day we saw her and below is a picture of her very first night at our house.  Do you think she was comfortable here and happy to be a part of our family?

And I can tell you, she made an unbelievable first impression on Jeff because he called me the next morning and told me not to leave her in her crate by herself but to bring her to the farm and he would keep an eye on her.  I was shocked!!!

I can't say enough good things about this dog.  She has the easiest going temperament and reminds me a ton of the dog I had when I was a little girl growing up.  We could do anything to our dog Sassy and she wouldn't care one bit.  Same here with Lucy.  She is terrorized on a regular basis by Lukas and she just goes along with it.  Whether he's pulling her tail, chasing her with his tractors and trucks, or using her as a stepping stool when getting onto the couch, she doesn't show any aggression towards him whatsoever.  I think she's just so thankful she has a family to call her own and love her.

There is something to be said for dogs and the companionship and love they can show to people.  She is so loyal and listens extremely well.  I get a kick out of her when I'm helping in the barn, she is like my little shadow.  No matter where I am at the farm, she is usually right behind me.  She's got such a quirky personality you almost think she's part human sometimes.

Oh and her bark...something that makes me smile instantly everytime I hear it.  If any of you have ever heard a coon hound bark it is rather funny.  I can't accurately describe it but I can tell you whenever somebody hears Lucy bark for the first time they usually get a huge kick out of it.  And thankfully, she doesn't bark too often.  Usually only in the barn at the cats when she wants to drink from their milk bowl or if we have to crate her for a little while when we leave the house, which we rarely ever do anymore.

The one thing she does have is huge separation anxiety so she has her own little "day care routine" now.  Two days a week, when Lukas goes to the farm by my mother-in-law when I'm at work, Lucy rides in the truck with me and stays there with Lukas.  But here's the kicker, even on the days when Lukas doesn't go to the farm, I still make a special trip to the farm, before dropping Lukas off at his sitter, to drop Lucy off there so she doesn't have to stay home alone.  Jeff likes having her around and so does the farm dog.  It's amazing to us how well she has adjusted to her two new homes and rarely wanders off.

Who would've thought?  We haven't even had her for one year yet, we got her in November, but I can't tell you how much of an impact she has made on our family.  I can't picture our house without her in it.



Lucy never whines or barks when begging for food.  Just waits patiently.



A few things I've learned after Lucy became part of our life. 

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Luke and Lucy chilling on the couch.

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
~ Josh Billings

Luke pestering Lucy again.

The great pleasure of a dog is that you make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, he will make a fool of himself too.
~ Samuel Butler

Zach with his dog..she's smiling for the picture!!!

Thank you God for bringing this wonderful creature into our lives!!!  So many blessings!!!

Consider Yourself

Consider yourself at home
Consider youself one of the family
We've taken to you so strong
It's clear we're going to get along
Consider yourself well in
Consider yourself part of the furniture
There isn't a lot to spare
Who cares?..What ever we've goin we share!

Zach, myself & Sam after their performance of Oliver.

So, I've been pretty busy the last few weeks and have been busy around this time of the summer for the last 5 years now.  5 years ago was the first year our daughter Samantha decided she wanted to be a part of the Lakeshore Productions summer musical production and she has been doing it ever since.

The words above are from one of the songs from this year's musical, Oliver, and I thought it really speaks about the atmosphere and feeling everybody gets when participating in this wonderful organization.

Every summer they hold auditions for their summer musical production and they never turn anybody away.  They find some way to make everybody interested a part of the musical so that they can fulfill their love of the arts and have the wonderful experience of meeting new people and working together as a team to perform a musical that will make everybody proud.

This year's cast was HUGE!!!  I believe between the 80-90 mark, and filled with a ton of children, so maintaining a group like that and teaching that many people is a huge accomplishment in itself.

The co-directors this year did an awesome job of making this a fun year for the kids and everybody involved and did so with the most enthusiastic outlook I have seen in a while.  The task they took on was huge, but they attacked it full force and didn't look back. 

Not only was our daughter, Sam, involved for her 5th year, but our son, Zachary, decided he wanted to take his turn at it too this year, and from what I could tell, he also had a blast.

Sam & Zach after their Oliver performance.

Practices started the 2nd week in June and they run from Monday through Thursday nights and usually go from 6:30-10 pm.  The first few weeks aren't as hectic and the kids get excused usually by 9 pm but once they get closer to their performance week they run every night and some nights they are there after 10 pm to tweek the show before the show opens.  This is a huge commitment to the kids, the parents, the board members, the directors, choreographers and so many more people.  You can say their entire summer is pretty much dedicated to this show.

Sam on stage during the finale of the show.

My biggest frustration year after year is that when working the ticket table during the performances, or ushering people to their seats and what not, is the fact that I don't see nearly as many people from our own community coming to see the show.

I see some, yes of course, but then I stop and think about how I don't know many of the people coming at all.  That's great that they draw people from nearby communities as well, but it sucks how many people I know from this community that I don't see attending.  With all the work all of these people put into their performances it has to be a little frustrating to them to see some empty seats out in the audience.

Sam and Zach on stage during one of their scenes.

Don't get me wrong, they still had a successful showing I believe, but it would be great to have more support every summer from our local community.  I mean afterall, just last week we had our local fireman's picnic, and their were a ton of people supporting that from the community.  Maybe we should start selling alcoholic beverages at the summer musical during intermission and we'd get a better turnout?  I mean heh, I'm all about supporting the fire department too and spend quite a bit of time there myself, but seriously, our community has a great gift by having a local theater group, and too many people don't even take the time to support it.  That's too bad.

So, enough griping, I want to end this by saying, once again, I am so proud of my kids, I am proud of their dedication and effort put into this year's production and it's sad that another great year is over :(

My kids hanging out with some of their friends from Oliver.

I will continue to support you both and this wonderful organization for many years to come and maybe one day, when little Luke is a little older I will find myself back up on that stage myself?

Thank you again Lakeshore Productions (LPI) for another wonderful summer filled with friendship, fun and family.  Many memories were made for myself and my kiddos again this year and I am so thankful for that!!!