Lordy Lordy Look Who's Forty!!!

I'm not 40, I'm eighteen with 22 years experience. ~ Author Unknown

Yep, it's true!   On March 31st, 2012 I am now officially 40 years old.  Holy crap where does the time go?!  So, apparently this is what a 40 year old looks like.

I know for a lot of people the idea of turning this "old" depresses them but to me, and I'm being completely honest here, it doesn't bother me a bit.  I really don't feel 40 when I stop and think about it.

Oh sure, I have all the responsibilities of a 40 year old.  Work, children, paying bills, keeping the hubby in a good mood (sometimes that can be a challenge), keeping the house in order (this is ALWAYS a challenge) and just the daily grind that adulthood brings us.  But when I stop and think about it and really look at where I am in my life now, I wouldn't ever want to go back to where I was 20 years ago.  I have so many things to be grateful for at this ripe old age that I can't help but be happy for where I am now and Jeff and I always say that turning a year older is always better than the alternative right?

So far today has been a good day.  I got home from the farm this morning and my mother-in-law helped the kids decorate the kitchen for my birthday to surprise me.

Our kitchen before I got home.  Don't mind the dishes and mess, I wasn't home yet to do them.

And in addition to the decorations, Jeff asked his Mom to go out and get me a special cake and I was just eating a piece before logging on to write this and let me tell you, it was divine!!!

There were also some nice homemade cards from the kids awaiting my arrival with some little gifts from each of them.  Jeff didn't get me his usual perverted birthday card but he did make sure there was a nice Kohls gift card for me.

The outside of the card Sam made me

The inside of Sam's card

The outside of the card Zach made me.  He wouldn't let me post a picture of the inside as it was too mushy.

I may not have had a big 40th birthday bash to celebrate this milestone but that's okay with me, I don't need all those frills and chills really.  Just some good old time with the family and nice cards, calls, texts, emails and Facebook posts to help me "feel the love" has really helped me feel special and I couldn't have asked for anything more.

I'm not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You're as old as you feel. ~ Elizabeth Arden

Birthday Girl

"Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of 'you' to the world."  Unknown.

So, last week Wednesday, March 21st, was my daughter Samantha's 14th birthday.  My how the time flies by :(

All I have to say is this girl wanted to make darn sure her birthday wasn't missed or forgotten by anybody that came in contact with her.

Monday night and Tuesday night leading up to her birthday she baked just over 90 cupcakes to bring to school and hand out to her classmates and volleyball teammates.  Honestly, I don't think she realized when taking on such a task how difficult it would be and how time consuming and she has since made the statement she won't be making anymore cupcakes again in the near future.

 

All of the cupcakes Sam made to help celebrate her birthday.  Do you think there were enough?

On Wednesday night after coming home from the farm and eating supper we surprised her with her very own Dairy Queen ice cream cake.  Yummy!!!!  And of course her brothers were right in there to help her celebrate the occasion.

 

Sami with her Dairy Queen cake.

Lukas waiting to help blow out her candles and Zach looking on.

About a month ago or so she approached me and asked if for part of her birthday present I could spend the day with her doing fun things and just hanging out together. I was flattered. I mean, seriously, there are a lot of young kids out there nowadays who when reaching the ripe old age of 14 would never want their birthday present to be "hanging out with Mom". So I of course jumped at the chance. I love doing things with just the two of us as we rarely have a lot of time when the boys aren't also with us and immediately decided that Friday the 23rd would be a perfect day. The kids were off of school and I was able to find somebody to work for me that night in the barn and it was marked on my calendar and hers.

So, I found somebody to watch both the boys for the entire day while Dad was working and Sam and I headed off for a day full of fun.

Our first stop was lunch at Beanies in Port Washington.  Love this place!  I used to eat here more often at my old job with clients that were in town but don't really get there much anymore as my husband refuses to try anything different when it comes to going out to eat.  He's one of those "if it isn't broke why fix it?" kind of guys.

While sitting there and ordering our food it dawned on me that in some ways Sam is a lot like him.  Here we are at this Mexcican restaurant with a wide variety of awesome food and she orders Chicken Strips and Fries.  I just shook my head thinking about it again :)

I ordered a Beef Chimichanga and Soft Taco combination platter with rice (no beans thank you) and it was delightful!!!  Somehow though when casually eating and checking out the scenery in the restaurant some little turd stuck her french fry in my rice.  She also got this from her Dad.  He always does this to me when I'm eating a burger with a bun and he has fries.  Stabs the fry right through my bun!  Well, it did make us both laugh when I noticed it.

After enjoying our meal and my tasty Strawberry Daquiri we headed off to our next appointment of the day.

Sam was heading to Studio 231 to get her hair cut and colored.  According to her she was way overdue.

As usual she had to do something different.  She does not like to do what everybody else is doing and has always wanted to do funky things with her hair.  Now THIS she gets from her Mom I think.  So, after okaying it with Mom she now has jet black hair on the bottom underneath and her main top is reddish/purplish or something like that.  It looks cute and to me a lot better than her blonde streaks she tried last time.  Her stylist Jamie (who Sam thinks is super cool) did a great job as usual.

I sat and watched Sam for a little while but then headed off to my own appointment.  Kind of early 40th birthday present to myself and something I have wanted to do for the last 4-5 years already but never got around to doing.  I'll give you a hint, it didn't cost too much but it will last me a lifetime.

More to come on that later.....

After Sam and I were both done with our apppointments, we headed to everybody's favorite store Kohls.  Seriously, who doesn't love Kohls right?

I bought myself a new shirt and some new sandals for summer and Sam got a new pair of shoes and shirt as well.  But we saved roughly $45.00 so it was worth it right?  Ha ha.  That always cracks me up because so many people use that to justify how much they just spent there.

 We then stopped at Target for a few small but needed items and then were headed home to get the boys and make supper for Jeff before he got home from the farm that night.

I don't know about you, but a day like this wouldn't have been complete without a good old ice cream cone.

 So, I would say, her birthday was a success.  Not only did she get a lot of nice presents from many people, but she spent quality time with me and the following day she spent all day with her Aunt Patti gettting a pedicure, more shopping, lunch and a movie.  Girls will be girls, heh?

And now onto my treat for myself.  Some new ink and something I wanted to do since I knew I was done having anymore kids.  I always figured I have one tattoo now with Jeff's name on it and it was only fair that the kids have a spot on me as well.  Ta da!!!

 For anybody curious, I am officially done.  Seriously!!!  Seeing as how the first two things that ran through my mind when the girl started was 1)  Damn I don't remember it hurting like this last time?   and 2)  Thank goodness this is a simple one and won't take long.

Dentist, Haircut & Pine Cones...Oh My!!!

Today was a good day, plain and simple.  It started with a gorgeous morning at the farm.  I think I was actually sweating for a while during milking as the barn was quite warm due to the unbelievable temperatures we were having, along with all of the body heat the cows throw off.  It makes me look real forward to the upcoming Spring/Summer around the farm.

It was also going to be a busy day as Lukas had a full schedule today.  He had to go to the dentist for his very first exam and cleaning and then about an hour later he had a haircut.  As mundane and "normal" as these types of things are for us I was looking so forward to both of these appointments as I find so much joy in watching his expression and love to see how he interacts with everybody now that he is a little older.

With the gorgeous weather we had I decided I would walk and Luke could ride his bike to both places.  It was a good choice.  He's sweet to talk to on the ride, he takes it all in and asks a lot of questions on the way.  He seems to be perplexed a little as to why a particular tree on our walk barely has any apples on it now when the last time he saw it in Fall it was plump full.  I find it adorable that he even remembers this tree at all.  Those little ones see our world in a whole different way than we do.

The dentist vist went great.  He played a little while waiting for Mom to fill out some health history.

When I finally got the paperwork complete we headed into the examination room to begin.  I wasn't real sure how he would act as he isn't quite as outgoing with strange people as my other two were at this age.  At first he was acting a tad shy but it didn't take too long before he started warming up to the lady taking care of him.  It probably helped that she bribed him with a cool pair of shades to keep the light out of his eyes while looking at his teeth.

She continued the exam asking him to open his mouth "real big like a crocodile" at which point he would cooperate and open it real big.  They counted his teeth, brushed them, flossed them and treated them with flouride without him really moving an inch.

I look at this picture now and it cracks me up.  It looks like he is hanging on for dear life.  I think I do the same thing at the dentist :)

He had no cavities, he was told to keep up the good work and got to pick something from the treasure chest.  A successful visit indeed!!!

When leaving the dentist we had some time to kill before having to be at Michelle's Shear Cuts for his haircut so we decided to hang out at the lake.

He immediately ran to the slide to take his turns on there.  He hasn't been there for a while and had to make up for lost time.

It wasn't long though before he decided he wanted to spend the rest of his time there just tossing stones into the lake.  It's so easy to entertain a little boy.  Seriously!!!  Give them some stones or sand or a few cars and they are set for a long time.

He was so focused on what he was doing it gave me time to also take in all of my surroundings and remind myself how blessed I really am.  How blessed we all are to have the gorgeous weather we've been having, for living in a small town where crime isn't a huge issue and we can walk the streets with our kids and explore.  And I thanked God for our wonderful Earth.  Every single inch of it.

After taking in all of the beauty around us at the lake we headed off for his haircut.  When getting there he was also very reserved and shy and didn't say a whole lot, but he did cooperate again, so that's a bonus.

He looks pissed a little, doesn't he?  Too darn cute!!!

Now onto the pinecones.  For anybody close to us, they may already know this story, but for those of you who don't see me or know me in person this is all new to you.

Don't ask me why, but our little Luke is scared to death of pine cones.  Especially the big ones.  Seriously they will stop him in his tracks if he comes across them on walks or bike rides or anything else and quite honestly, the sassy Mom in me will use them to taunt him or bribe him to behave at times by threatening him with getting a pine cone from outside as we have some pine trees on our lot line.

Well, on our way to the dentist today we came across a few on the sidewalk and he steered his bike as far around them as he could.  He would absolutely not go near them.

We encountered one in the dentist's office while waiting and he would not go near the fake tree it was in once I pointed it out to him.

Then when we were at the lake he found one sitting in the sand near the slide.  When he realized it was there, he stopped and wouldn't move until I picked it up.

So, I picked it up and he thought I got rid of it.  I did, kind of, by putting it on the bottom of the slide he was climbing up at the time.  I didn't think he would notice until he was on the way down, but the little crapper noticed it at the bottom immediately upon getting to the top of the slide and insisted I throw it in the lake before he would go down.

It's these little things that mean so much to me.  I kick myself in the ass for not being able to spend this quality time with my two older ones when they were little and feel like I may have jipped them.  But at the same time, if I had not experienced working in the corporate world for almost 12 years I honestly don't think I would appreciate this new life I have now.  I would likely be wondering if there was something I was missing out on.  I can tell you now that there isn't.  

God has lead me down a good path.  Even though some days aren't nearly as peaceful and serene as today, I feel grateful.  So, so grateful!!!

What One Thing?

Yesterday while browsing on Facebook one of my Facebook friends posed the question "If you could have MORE of something what would it be?"  Her question immediately made me start thinking and I planned to respond to her wall but stopped myself as I couldn't really come to one single conclusion at the time as to what my answer would be?

Other people answered the somewhat obvious and first thing that popped into my head....Money.

Oh sure, for most people money appears to be the answer to all their problems.  If you have money you can buy anything you need to make you happy, right?  And I initially thought the same thing.  There are a lot of things on my "wish list" in life that money could help me attain. 

A remodeled living room with all new furniture, flooring, draperies, etc.

A new vehicle as mine has reached 200,000 miles and although it still runs it would be nice to drive something newer. 

And more money for a remodeled bathroom as well as ours is in desperate need of attention would be great.

But then I stopped and thought I have to be smart if this wish was really attainable and if I could get more of just one thing that money wasn't the answer.  In due time I would be able to have enough money (hopefully) to have all of the above things I mentioned anyway so I continued to ponder the question again.

Hmmmm?  If not money, what?  Then the word vacation came to mind.  I mean really...what person wouldn't want the opportunity to have more vacation time in their life right?

Our family loves to vacation so this would be awesome.  I've always wanted to go to the Bahamas so we could go there!

But then it dawned on me, if you have more vacation you now need to also have more money, which I passed on earlier, so I can't really have more of this either...so onto another idea.

If I could have MORE of anything what would it be?

Some other possibilities that jumped into my head.

Patience.  Oh man, I could use more of that.  Patience with the cowies and calves at the farm, patience for working with my husband, patience for my children, patience for other people who I come across on a daily basis and patience with life in general.

Time.  That was one that seemed to be on other people's minds too and I know we could all use more of that too.  But really, if we were given more time, would we just fill it up with more endless running and "stuff" that isn't necessary in the first place or would we use it wisely to make a difference in somebody's life and volunteer for charities and to lend a helping hand to others?  Probably not so I decided I didn't really want that either.

So I continued to ponder the question again.  And I still couldn't decide initially...but then it occurred to me that one of the things in my life that I struggle with the most is the fact that my kids don't have very much support in life.  I support them like crazy, but they miss out on things in their life because a lot of people choose not to be involved in their lives or simply aren't here.

Both their Grandpas have passed away and they don't get to enjoy the things that they enjoyed with them.  They miss out on all of that special bonding time that other kids have with their Grandpas.

Jeff's Dad used to have a ritual with Zach when he was little that only Grandpa took him for his haircuts.  When doing this he had a deal made out with the barber that when Zach was done getting his haircut the barber gave Zach a dollar.  To Zach this was the coolest thing ever!  Another funny thing about this is that if Jeff's Mom and Sam were along they had to stay in the car and wait.  Only Grandpa and Zach went in.  Luke will never have any of this!  Heck, Luke doesn't have any real male figures in his life at all, other than his Dad.

My Dad never really knew Zach as he passed away shortly after he was born but I do know that if his health was good and he was still here he would be coming to watch Sam and Zach play soccer, Zach play baseball and whatever other activities they were involved in and now nobody comes.  It makes me sad.

I attend pretty much all of my kid's activities (with some exceptions) and there are all kinds of people there to watch the other kids on the team.  Grandpas, Grandmas, Aunts, Uncles, etc. and there is never anybody but me, and Jeff if he can get away from the farm.  I used to tell people times and locations of their activities, I stopped doing that a long time ago as it was obviously a waste of my time.

Despite what people may think, I think I have some darn good kids.  Are they perfect kids?  No.  I would never make that statement.  Sam and Zach especially have been through way more shit in their young lives than a lot of adults have and yet they keep marching on and try to see the positives.  They have lost two Grandpas and a baby brother already and Sam has yet to visit her Grandpa Rick's headstone without crying like crazy. 

I am going to take credit for who they are now and who they become.  I'm scared to make that statement as I know life will only get more difficult as they get older and kids can get lead astray, but truthfully, I am their rock.  I am the only one that gets them, listens to them, boasts their spirits up, pushes them to be better people, disciplines when necessary (but probably not enough).  I don't think they feel they have anybody else to talk to.

So, with that said, SUPPORT would be the one thing I would want more of.  More support for my kids.  More support for me as I'm going it alone roughly 80% of the time.  More support for my family in general.  We feel like black sheep a lot of the time?

Simplicity

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.

Confucious

Well, isn't the above quote the truth, heh?  I know from personal experience and from the previous job I had that life has gotten way too out of control.  The things that people freak out about on a regular basis and the supposed "necessities" we have all become so used to thinking we need have gotten way out of hand.  Oh don't get me wrong, I like to be pampered and spoiled on occasion too but people in general have gotten to a point where if they can't get their massages in every week or can't find a way to get out of the house for a night on the town without their significant other and children each week they are bitching about it.  The word spoiled comes to mind and it was working around people and customers (not all of them) with those outlooks that was part of my deciding factor as to switching jobs and working full time at the farm.  Although the farm is full of a lot of physical work and not easy, it really doesn't get much simpler than this and I have already noticed a huge change in me and how simple life can be and how your outlook on everything really does begin to change.

I know one of the first things people had opinions about when I decided to change jobs was "How will they afford it?"  Well, I can tell you, changing jobs has saved me money in many different ways.  There is no longer that need to impress people like at my old job.  My husband has seen me at my worst so he doesn't expect me to be all dolled up in the barn and well we all know that the cows could give two shits about my appearance.  So, with that said, I no longer spend a lot of money on makeup, hair spray, mousse and expensive perfume.  Oh sure, I use it on occasion when I go to run errands and out places but seriously, the supplies last A LOT longer than before.  And I can tell you, when I get home, I hit the shower and my hair is pulled back immediately for the day and no makeup applied and I have the au naturale look going on.  Works for me.

And as you can see.  Pretty much every day it is sweatpants and a sweatshirt or t-shirt for me.  No need to complicate things by deciding what to wear, nobody is here to see me other than the hubbie and kids so we're good.  And when I know I am going back to the farm at 3 pm, there is no reason to fix myself up only to get all dirtied up again later.

Side note - I would not normally wear a sweathshirt with birds and flowers on it, but it was a gift to our daughter and she didn't like it and it's all about comfort for me now and it's warm.

I've also saved a ton of money by not needing to buy nice clothes so I can look all professional at work.  The last time I entered a Kohls department store to buy anything was when we did our Christmas shopping and I don't think I bought myself anything.  Obviously I don't have to spend a fortune on good clothes for in the barn and if I buy a few pairs of jeans and some shirts at the local Goodwill store for $4 each for in the barn we're set.  Trust me, huge savings there!!!

And....because I have a closet full of nice clothes from my last job, if I do go out on the town or to church I have plenty to choose from.

I've also noticed a significant savings by not stopping at the local gas station on my way to work each morning for my cup of half cappucino/half coffee and a donut.  I would also stop at this same place roughly three times a week for lunch and now anything I am eating now is being made at my own home. 

I think the biggest change I've noticed is the fact that I don't really want to go places to spend money once I get home from the farm.  Seriously!  If I get up at 3:55 am to go to work and get home about 9-9:30 am knowing I will be going back again at 3 pm, the last thing I feel like doing is getting myself all dolled up to go run errands and have to rush back so I don't.  I also have Luke to think about, as he no longer goes to daycare (another big savings), and well going anywhere to run errands with him makes errands a lot more difficult so I put things off as long as I can before going.  Before I had a bad habit of running to Walmart because I needed one thing and then I would come back with five other things I didn't really need.

So, in a sense, I'm kind of becoming a hermit and I'm okay with that.  My life revolves around my kids, the hubby and the farm.  I don't feel the pressure to impress anybody anymore.  I am who I am.  I'm pretty much as simple as they come despite what some people may think.  My days consist of the following:

Finger painting with Lukas.

Watching little Lukas play dressup.

Keeping the house clean with my little "helper".

Appreciating all of the beauty around me each and every day while working around the farm and experiencing life as I know it.  My simple life.

Surrogate

Surrogate - to put in place of another; substitute.

So, I am approaching the age of 40 and have given birth to 4 wonderful children already at this time in my life, and never would've guessed that at this time I would be taking care of so many new babies on a daily basis.  Oh no, I haven't started a in-home daycare or becoming a foster mother or anything, but I have become a surrogate Mom to many adorable baby calves around the farm.

This morning while walking outside to bring down the second group of cows to come into the barn to be milked I thought I was seeing things.  You have to cut me some slack, it was early (about 6 am), it was still dark outside and because I get up so early now I was likely still not fully awake so it's possible to see things that may not really be there.  But I wasn't really imagining anything, out in the cowyard, surrounded by a lot of curious cows was a tiny little calf who just greeted the world.  Like that sight wasn't surprise enough to me, but as I continued south through the cowyard I spotted another one!!!!  Twins!!!

The newborns!!!

It's funny how my natural instinct takes over to want to take care of these little creatures and make sure they aren't harmed.  Initially I thought there was no way I could carry them the distance I needed to so that they would be inside the barn where it was warmer and not have a chance of being stepped on by the bigger cows outside but when Jeff didn't have the time at the moment to do this for me I decided "when there's a will, there's a way" and I walked out there with the mindset that I was going to "DO IT!"

With all my might I picked up the smaller of the two first and it seemed pretty easy and despite her being wet yet and a tad full of cow manure from being born out in the cowyard, I hauled her into the barn.  I was quite dirty after this and I'll admit, the second one seemed a lot heavier to me but again I was determined and got him into the barn too.  So damn cute!!!! 

Along with these two little ones I also have 12 larger calves in the two pens in the barn and 6 smaller ones (5 in huts outside and 1 inside by the twins) who are depending on me to be their surrogate Mama and feed them each day and I'm happy to be there for them.  It's my nature.

Oh sure, these little ones aren't going to give me hugs and make me pictures for my fridge or anything but I do guarantee that they will slobber me with a ton of wet kisses whether I want them to or not and I feel obligated to make sure they stay fed and are loved.

They likely don't realize at all what love is I guess, but I do, and that's what makes this part of my job that much easier for me.  They're kind of like my own kids, except thankfully for me, my kids are potty trained :)