Quiet

In quiet moments when you think about it, you recognize what is critically important in life and what isn't. Be wise and don't let good things crowd out those that are essential.

It is about 9:30 pm on a Tuesday night and all is quiet in my house.  My ten year old is sound asleep on the loveseat, his little brother on the floor sleeping, one tired dog in the chair next to them and my hardworking, exhausted husband on the couch.  Sam, being the "teenager" in the house, is in her room as it just isn't cool to hang out with us in the living room anymore.

I don't think Jeff always understands why it is that I want to stay up a little later and play on Facebook or work on another post on my blog, but for me it is a way to relax from a day full of constant action from the time I got up until now and to just reflect on life as a whole with no interuptions.  I find it necessary to maintain my sanity really.

As I sit here and type this I glance over my shoulder and look at everything around me.  Yes, my living room is a mess!  I gave up on maintaining its cleanliness once Lukas became mobile.  I took a count and there are officially 2 large tractors, 2 small tractors, 2 poop spreaders, a chopper, chopper wagon, a General Lee, an ambulance, a Hummer, a Ford pickup, a combine, a dump truck, 5 mini Monster trucks, a garbage truck, a Tony Stewart #20 Nascar car and one train set strewn across my living room at this moment.  Yes, definitely a health hazard but at the same time I feel blessed.

Blessed that I am able to provide my child with things that he enjoys and bring a smile to his face while at the same time I'm reflecting on the fact that they are spoiled and I could've used that money in different ways perhaps.  Improvements on my house, a professional massage or something.  But then I think, before I know it they will be grown and I can then do things for myself.

I look over towards the wall and see pictures from past vacations with our family and I see the one from our second trip ever to Arizona when Zach was just about 1 1/2 years old and Sam would've been 4.  We had one of those old fashion pictures taken and Sam and I are in saloon dresses and little Zach is holding some dice.  It brings a little tear to my eye.  How fast life goes!  It seems like just yesterday when that picture was taken but it can't be obviously as my kids are so grown up already.

This busy, busy life we lead.  Disappointing really.  I think as a whole we all need to just chillax and slow things down a bit.  Stop feeling like we have to stay busy to keep up with the rest of the world.  What's wrong with just slowing down and hanging out at home and talking to each other, playing a board game, hide and seek or what not.  Why must we complicate life by running in 20 different directions on any given day?  Some people just seem to be busy doing nothing really.  Nothing of real importance anyway.

I love these quiet times.  They soothe me and make me appreciate everything I have.  A person needs to do that, to have that time for themselves, even if it only lasts for 30 minutes or so.  No matter what you choose to do to relax and reflect, do it.  It helps to make me sleep better at night too.

Nighty night.  Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite.......

Briggs & Al's

“True charity is the desire to be useful to others without thought of recompense.”

So once again, this past Saturday, I had the pleasure of being a part of the Briggs & Al's Run & Walk to benefit Children's Hospital.  This is the 6th year that I have walked in this wonderful charity event in memory of my good friend's son Dakota, who passed away at the age of 8 years old.  Dakota had been born with heart problems and had relied on Children's Hospital many times over the years to help get him healthy and lead a normal life.  Anybody who hasn't been involved in something similar to this in their life should really stop and take the time to do it.  It is such a humbling event and to me an event that truly puts life into perspective as to what really matters.  For me it makes me hug my own children A LOT tighter and be thankful for the fact that I don't have to go through what so many of these families are obviously dealing with on a regular basis.  Whether it be childhoold cancer, birth defects, heart problems, etc. I can only imagine the struggles they face every single day.

Team Dakota at Briggs & Als Walk & Run 2011.

Every year the Briggs & Als charity event brings approximately 15,000 people together to raise money and awareness for the wonderful facility we have so close by, that being Children's Hospital.  Since they have been doing this event each year they have raised more than 12 million dollars for Children's Hospital.  It seriously is an overwhelming experience.  The starting line is on the Marquette College Campus and the walk takes you through downtown Milwaukee to the Summerfest grounds.

Our team starting our 3 mile walk.  Thousands of people all around us.

Many thoughts run through a person's mind when taking part in such an event.  I'll share some of mine with you.

1)  In my case, as we are walking in memory of my good friend, Stacy's, son, I often wonder how she finds the strength to go on each and every day and look up to her as inspiration.  See, when Stacy lost her son, Dakota, she was a single mother and he was her only child.  I lost my little Adam, but I had two other kids at the time and a spouse to give me reason to go on each day.  I know it was extremely difficult for her and thank goodness she had a strong support system to hold her up, but I'll never forget her strength and also how much she has supported me over the years.  I do believe it is true that God brings certain people into your life for a reason.  He made her and I friends to lean on and count on over the course of the last few years.







My friend Stacy holding her little niece, Paige, and her sister, Kelly.

2)  There are so many teams that walk each year as I recognize them and the names and pictures from year to year.  Most teams have pictures of the child they are walking for, whether that child is a survivor or whether that child has already gone to Heaven.  I'm curious to know their stories and there is an instant feeling of compassion in my heart for any little ones I see and their families walking for them.  The daily hardships and decisions they must face are for sure gut wretching and some of the biggest struggles they will ever face.

3)  Thankful.  I feel so thankful that there are still many generous and caring people in this world willing to take time out of their busy schedules and walk for such a wonderful cause and who care about the happiness of others. 

Every single year I question myself before the actual walk and think "Gosh, I have so many other things I could be doing around the house or with my family" and debate not doing it.  But then I quickly slap myself up and remind myself of the importance of it, not only to be there for my good friend, Stacy, but for those gorgeous and innocent children and their families.

I shed a few tears every single year I am a part of it for all of the reasons combined that I mention above.  The experience truly hits a lot of nerves for me and emotions are high during the 3 mile walk.  In addition to all of these wonderful reasons to walk, the scenery is absolutely gorgeous as well.

Even little Lukas insisted on walking almost the entire 3 miles himself this year.  I think he was a tad tired at the end but I think even he knew at the ripe old age of almost 3 the importance of what he was doing.

Grandma Dorothy Emma Ella



We should all have one person who knows how to bless us despite the evidence, Grandmother was that person to me. ~Phyllis Theroux

Back in April our family lost one of the sweetest ladies you would ever come across, my Grandma Dorothy, my Dad's Mom.  Up until the last couple of years, she was the busiest Grandma you could imagine and was driving all over the place in her free time to visit her friends, go to church, play cards, visit family and go bowling.  It seemed that once she stopped driving, due to an accident she had, her livelihood went away and she went downhill from there.  I miss her a ton.  Being my Dad's Mom, and really the only piece of his family that we had left to hold onto, when she passed away unexpectedly on Easter Sunday, shortly before our entire family was going to walk down to the Beechwood Rest Home to see her from my cousin's house, it was a significant loss to us.  Below is the eulogy I wrote and read at her funeral.  To say I was a tad teary eyed when I began to read it is an understatement, but I did manage to contain my emotions and got through it.  I had to do it for her, she deserved it.

Grandma & I at my wedding.

Hello.  I am Dorothy’s youngest granddaughter, Dana and first I wanted to start by thanking all of you for being here to celebrate my Grandmother’s life.

When I decided that I should speak today in honor of my Grandma I sat down at home and started to think.  I thought about where I should start, what I should say, what could I say to get my feelings, our family’s feelings, across about this wonderful woman.

Grandma with my Mom & Dad on their 40th anniversary.

I pulled out a Bible, looking for scripture, she loved scripture and it was a part of her daily life and I found this passage from Psalm 34: 1-4 and it made me think of her.

“I will praise the Lord at all times.  I will constantly speak his praises.  I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are discouraged take heart.  Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness; let us exalt his name together.  I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me, freeing me from all my fears.”

Grandma with my cousin, Tim and I on the day of our confirmation.

I do believe that although she truly lived her life to the fullest here on Earth and made the most of every situation that she also knew she had grown weak and was truly looking forward to the day when she could walk through those Heavenly gates and be reunited with her family and friends that had gone before her and meet her Maker for the very first time.

Grandma with me, my sister, Delene, and my brother, Dion.

Some of the other words I would like to use to describe my Grandma would be the following:

Kind.  She was so kind.  Not only to us, her family, but to anybody she knew, whether through her church, bowling league, the churches we all attend, she was always willing to lend an ear, send a card or share a story or two.  A good friend of mine said it good when giving me condolences.  She was the kind of lady that would nod her head, giggle and smile even if she wasn’t even sure what you had just said.  It was her nature.

Grandma with her five grandchildren at my cousin, Cindy's, wedding in 1996.

Grandma was also very strong.  She is one of the strongest women I have ever met.  She grew up on the family farm and actually ran it all by herself for a few years after Grandpa Eugene had passed away.  I’ve also admired her so much for the strength she showed after losing two husbands and both of her children before their time.  A lot of people would struggle with how to recover from significant losses like that, but if she did, she sure had a good way of hiding it.

Grandma with Samantha on Easter Sunday in 1998.

Pictures.  Grandma took a ton of pictures and I believe at one point had the official title of “family photographer”.  I will always remember her gathering all of the family together for group photos until the smiles were worn off our faces.  Whether it was at a family reunion, Christmas holiday, birthday party, you name it.  Posing here, posing over there, this family, that family, grandkids only now.  In addition to taking them she would then put all of them into photo albums and write detailed descriptions about every photo in the album.  And to her, every single photo had just as much meaning to her as the previous.

Grandma with Zachary the day of his baptism in December of 2001.

One of the things that sticks out for me personally with my Grandma was the appreciation she had of my musical talents.  When I was young and in middle school and high school I was very involved in music and I don’t think she ever missed one of my concerts or musicals ever.  In fact, one time I went to the Fireside with her and my parents to see a show and afterwards she was trying to find somebody there she could talk to about getting me a job there singing.  I had nothing to do with it and actually had to tell her not to worry about it.  And even until her health started getting a little worse she would attend our daughter and son’s programs at school.  I know she would want me to sing today but I just can’t. 
  

Grandma with Samantha and my Mom at her musical performance of Honk the summer of 2010.

And last but not least that comes to mind when thinking about Grandma is her smile, oh her smile.  It could light up the room.  Her compassion for life, her love for her friends and family was obvious in that instant that her smile appeared on her face.  Look at her on the memory card you all got today and whenever you are having a not so great day I guarantee if you look at this it will bring a smile to your face as well.  So with that I close with a poem I found that seemed so fitting. 

Grandma coming out of the limo we rented for her to celebrate her 85th birthday, 5 years ago.

I’d like the memory of me

To be a happy one.

I’d like to leave an after glow

Of smiles when life is done.

I’d like to leave an echo

Whispering softly down the ways,

Of happy times and laughing times

And bright and sunny days.

I’d like the tears of those who grieve,

To dry before the sun

Of many happy memories

That I leave when life is done.



Grandma with Lukas and my Mom on the day of his baptism in December 2008.

We will all miss you dearly Grandma and know you are happy in Heaven.

Kitchen Concerts

For any of you that truly know me, you will know by now that I have a huge love of music and the arts in general.  Every single song that I hear on my Ipod or on the radio will speak out to me heavily and have a special meaning to me.

I am especially fond of the words to music and the message they send to me.  I can hear songs and associate them with specific timeframes, people, places and all sorts of things and I more than likely have one of the widest varieties of music on an Ipod than anybody else does.

I have broadway musicals, hip hop, pop rock, country, heavy metal, classic rock, christian, you name it, it is likely on there.  And if I could, I would listen to it all day long and when I go to bed at night too, as music calms every single part of me.

It has become a ritual for me to put my Ipod on shuffle every night when making supper in our kitchen.  Depending on the kid's activities that night determines whether or not they are able to attend my kitchen concerts and be part of the show.

Seriously, markers become microphones, the east side of my kitchen is the audience and my stage is typically right at the end of my countertop.  Then I become this amazing singer, starring in the musical Wicked or Phantom of the Opera, or one pissed off Allanis Morrisette singing You Oughta Know, whatever mood strikes me at the time.  I even start moonwalking to Beat It if you catch me in the right mood, I bet you'd like to see that, heh?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVf7t2KoFNk

This may all sound a bit strange, but who knows, maybe there are more starlets hiding out in this area than I think?

All I know is it releases a ton of stress for me, and the kids and I usually have a ton of fun doing it.  Many times we are all bopping around, getting our groove on, and looking like a bunch of total idiots.  I wonder sometimes when the windows are open if our neighbors hear us and wonder what the hell is going on?  Maybe they want to come over and be a part of it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29Lwd8fcomw

Pacifier

Pacifier - somebody or something that pacifies: somebody or something that calms a person or situation.

Two is always better than one, right?

When I started to decide what to write for this blog and decided that Lukas deserved his fair share in the limelight I stopped to think of a title for the blog and a single word to describe what his presence in our life meant to me and for some reason the word pacifier popped into my head.  When that happened I decided to look up the actual definition and above is what I found and that accurately describes his becoming a part of our life.

For any of you that have been following my blogs you now know that in March of 2007 our family experienced the loss of our third born child at the age of 28 weeks, little Adam, and initially when we lost him we weren't sure if we would try again to have another child of our own or if we would leave well enough alone.

Thankfully we decided to leave this in God's hands and see what he thought was best and he blessed us with this beautiful new baby boy at just the right time in our life. 

Our new little miracle, Lukas.

Samantha with her new baby brother.

Zachary with his new baby brother.

Not only had we lost Adam in 2007 but in July of 2008 we unexpectedly lost Jeff's Dad, Rick, and well Lukas came along just at the right time to "calm a person or situation".  I honestly can't begin to tell you how much he helped with keeping his Daddy's spirits up during the loss of his father/co-worker.  Not taking anything away from myself or our other kids, but when a little one smiles at you when you come home from a long day of work, or they run to the door to greet you when you come home, it's very hard to resist and not be happy, and that's exactly what Luke did with his Daddy.  I'll admit, I'm not usually "running" to the door to greet Jeff anymore (sometimes maybe) but not all the time :)

Our little Lukas has been nothing but a bright shining light in the world of ours that had become somewhat crappy and just, well, he has given all of us a reason to keep smiles on our faces and keep going each day and he has no idea how important he is to all of us around him!!!

Who can resist this face?

What words would I use to describe Lukas other than pacifier?  Well the very first word that pops into my head is BUSY!!!  Holy cow, I totally forgot how quick and on the go a 2 year old can be.  He rarely sits still and is constantly pushing my buttons doing things he knows he probably shouldn't be doing!

Luke's version of hide n seek.  Can you see him?

Another word that comes to mind when thinking of him is SPOILED!!!  Okay, okay, I admit it.  I do think, now that I am a parent, that your youngest child is going to a bit more spoiled than the others.  I coddle him more and continue to let him do things I know he probably shouldn't, and I'm not as pushy regarding the potty training or anything because I simply refuse to let him grow up any faster than he has too.

You can't tell on this picture but he actually ran out the front door in this shirt and his diaper.  This was when I caught him in the act!!!

I think one of the obvious words I think of when I look at him is LOVED!!!  Here is a child that is loved so much by his Dad, his Mom, his big sister and his big brother and many around him.  We are just so grateful and blessed to have him in our lives and don't ever take him for granted.

Brotherly love.

I can't wait to see what the future holds for this little guy.  He seems to be such a good mixture of Sam and Zach that I'm at a loss right now as to who he will be more like.  So far I think his tendencies lean more towards his big sis so that's cool, but I wouldn't be surprised if he too has a completely different personality than they do.  I think Sam and Zach are complete opposites although they've been raised in the same household so why couldn't he have his own identity too?  All I know is whatever interests he has, whether it be sports, music, art or what not, I will let him grow as a person and support whatever that is.

Oh my sweet little blessing from above, you have no clue how much you have meant to my world.

Chillaxing in the tub.

Lukas - From the Greek meaning "of Luciana".  He is a perfectionist with strong beliefs and a great love of life.  He is conscientious and dedicated.